Last Night’s LOST: Series Finale

Dear Diary,

I guess some­times all you need is a lit­tle time and some perspective.

Sure, there were some rough times, like when Jack “Jacob” Shephard totally sucker punched me just as I was home free. OH MY GOD. What a tool.

Can you imag­ine what it was like, Diary? One minute you’re tast­ing sweet vic­tory, the next you’ve got an insane neu­ro­sur­geon leap­ing at you like he’s fly­ing through the bloody Matrix. Before you know it you’re flat on your back bleed­ing like Nic Cage in “City of Angels.” (What an amaz­ing film. It’s got it all! Delicious Cage-​flavored eye candy, a great sound­track, and damned if I don’t get as weepy as a Barbara Walters inter­view when Meg Ryan hits that log truck.)

Anyway, I’m busy bleed­ing to know I’m alive and Jack is beat­ing me like he’s all Ten Freaking Tigers of Shaolin. And David Carradine. So, nat­u­rally, I stabbed him.

Didn’t see that comin’ didya Doc? I guess when Jacob said “Now you’re like me” he meant DEAD.

Of course, before I can add a Yah to my Boo, Kate “Rambo” Austin shoots me in the gor­ram back. In the back, Kate? Really?

I guess I could be pretty pissed about what hap­pened to me. But you know, the only thing I could really think about, after Jack kicked me off the cliff, was what an amaz­ing run I’ve had. I mean, most peo­ple are lucky to have one great romance in their life, and I’ve had what, at least three? Sure, none of ‘em ended well, but, all things con­sid­ered, I think it’s bet­ter to have tried to kill all your lovers than never to have loved at all.

In the end, I’ve had it pretty good. Work I truly enjoyed, men I wanted to enjoy, and some­thing to live for, a goal — I really did have it all.

I mean, sure, this isn’t EXACTLY how I pic­tured it going down, but, in a way at least, I am finally get­ting off this island. I just kinda wish I was takin’ James with me.

Goodbye, Diary.

Love,

Smokey John